Officers arrived on scene at the Paleto Forest Sawmill, early afternoon of July 15th, where they were met with the grisly sight of four more victims in the serial killings belonging to the Paleto Punisher who has been terrorizing the Paleto Bay community for a third straight day. One of the victimes, Billy Thorne, is a resident of Paleto and was the first person to run into the alleged Paleto Punisher. According to Mr Thorne, the man had walked up to him asking for a ride as Mr Thorne had only just parked his car on Paleto Blvd. The man had been similarly dressed to one of the previous incidents and described as wearing all black with an eye patch over the left eye.
“He asked me if I could give him a ride to the lumber yard because he was stranded, “Thorne said to reporters. “We had a brief conversation in which I recounted an assault where I was the victim of an attack attributed to PP.”
Thorne is referring to the time when the Paleto Punisher forced another victim to stab him before dispatching the other person.
“Just as we arrived at the Sawmill he then said the phrase ‘It’s always a beautiful day in Paleto,’” recounted Thorne. A phrase that the Paleto Punisher has been known to say before attacking his victims.
Thorne went on to describe the situation in which, as they pulled up to the sawmill, there was another truck, occupied by two women who wished to remain anonymous. The assailant then pulled out a gun and told all three individuals to get out of their vehicles and walk into the sawmill, eventually ending up in the yard where stacks of cut lumber were stored.
“He started ranting about PP and how it stands for the Paleto Punisher and not the Paleto Peeper,” said Thorne. “In fact, he got agitated if anyone seemed to imply that he was the Peeper and not the Punisher. I was so scared for my life that I said that I was the Peeper. Which I’m not!”
According to the victims, the man started ranting about Paleto and how it is a bad place and so are the residents. During the rant, another vehicle pulled up with a male occupant which the Paleto punisher was quick to threaten with his gun and forced the fourth individual to join the lineup of hostages.
After ranting some more, the Paleto Punisher placed a knife on the ground and told the victims to fight for their lives; claiming that the last person standing would walk free. Billy Thorne won the fight, only to be shot down by the Paleto punisher.
“After I won, he shot me,” said Thorne. “Then he stood over me as I was losing consciousness and started screaming like a madman, ‘You and your G-damn Paleto tricks! Always cheaters! You G-damn cheaters! I hate Paleto People!’”But the Paleto Punisher wasn’t done. After the Sawmill Massacre, he allegedly found another victim who has yet to be identified as the body was moved and never discovered. Local residents said that a man in black, with an eye patch over his left eye, attacked a woman on a motorcycle and then took her body away.
This brings the total count of victims/attempted murders to 25.
Law enforcement are still remaining quiet on the subject.
Author’s Note: Los Santos Rag is parody news based on events transpiring on NoPixel, a GTA Roleplay server. Not to be taken seriously!
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