In the first post of the ChatGPt and Me series, I input the rough draft for my story titled ‘Hunted Under the Light of the Moon’ to ChatGPT which is an AI chatbot. When submitted, I asked for its opinion about my story, what I could do to flesh out my story, and then asked it to provide an outline. Then I asked ChatGPT to write its own version of my story ‘Hunted Under the Light of the Moon’ to see if it would simply rephrase what I wrote, stay true to my story, or come up with something completely different.
Here is ChatGPT’s Chapter One of ‘Hunted Under the Light of the Moon.’
Chapter 1: The Hunt Begins
Jonas’s eyes flew open as he felt a boot kick him in the stomach, knocking the wind right out of him. Groggy and disoriented, he sat up and tried to take in his surroundings. He was in a forest, at night, with a full moon shining down on the clearing where he was.
As he started to catch his breath, Jonas felt a sharp pain on the side of his neck. Immediately, his heart started to pound fast as an adrenaline rush kicked in. He remembered hearing a voice say something, off to his side, as he was unlocking his car after leaving the bar. But before he could see the source of that voice, he had felt a sharp pain in his neck and had immediately blacked out.
Now Jonas was starting to think clearly and began to survey his surroundings. That’s when he heard a quiet voice say, “Good. The adrenaline will chase away the last of the sedative I injected you with. Wouldn’t want things to be too easy.”
This last statement was followed by a low, menacing laugh. Following the laughter to its source, Jonas spotted a shadowy silhouette leaning against the trunk of a large tree. In the moonlight, he could make out a thin figure with dark, shoulder-length hair and a pasty complexion. The stranger was dressed in strange garb, as if he was wearing hunter’s clothing from the start of the Persian empire. But it was the man’s eyes that caught Jonas’s attention. They were two pools of night, watching him with the predatory gaze of a hunter.
Without acknowledging Jonas’s presence, the stranger slowly and nonchalantly said, “You will have a ninety-minute head start before I come after you. If you can make it to sunrise then you will be safe. But if I catch up to you, then you will die.”
Jonas felt a chill go up his spine as he listened to the stranger’s words. If anyone else had said that to him, at any other time, he would have laughed it off as the ravings of a madman. But this was different. This man repeated it as if he had said it many times before. There was no threat in his voice, just a hint of boredom as if he didn’t expect Jonas to provide much sport or be a threat.
As Jonas stood there, the stranger stopped leaning on the tree and walked into the clearing where the moonlight was stronger. Jonas considered his chances of overpowering the stranger. The man was thin and five foot ten inches, compared to Jonas’s five foot eight inches and 220 pounds of solid muscle.
But as the stranger moved within a foot of Jonas, he realized that he was no ordinary man. There was a sense of power and danger emanating from him, and Jonas could feel the weight of centuries in his eyes.
Without warning, Jonas took a swing at the stranger, aiming for his throat to crush his windpipe. But instead of hitting his target, Jonas’s fist only met air as the stranger, with lightning speed, dodged out of the way, stopped behind Jonas, and pinned his arms behind his back. Surprised by the impossible speed and wiry strength of the stranger, Jonas could do nothing to escape.
Once again, in that nonchalant tone, the stranger, right by Jonas’s ear, said, “Run. Run Jonas. For I, Darius, am coming for you.”
As he let Jonas go, the stranger added, “You have ninety minutes until sunrise. If you can make it that far, you will be safe. But if I catch you before then, you will be mine.”
This time, Jonas didn’t hesitate. He immediately took off into the woods as fast as he could, trying to put as much distance between himself and Darius as possible. Once he felt he was out of range of Darius’s hearing and eyesight, he slowed his running to a jog. He hoped that by pretending to panic and run at breakneck speed, he could trick Darius into thinking that he would be exhausted after running for an hour.
As he jogged, Jonas started to think about what had just transpired. This man, Darius, was serious about killing him. Of that, Jonas was certain. The man was fast and, despite his wiry frame, deceptively strong. Given how effortlessly Darius had held him, Jonas knew that his attacker was so much more than he appeared.
But Jonas couldn’t afford to dwell on that. He had to focus on surviving the next ninety minutes. He had to come up with a plan and use all of his strength and cunning to outsmart Darius.
As he ran through the forest, dodging trees and leaping over fallen branches, Jonas couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He had the distinct impression that Darius was always one step behind him, waiting for the right moment to strike.
But Jonas refused to give up. He had always been a fighter, and he wasn’t about to go down without a fight. He would run until sunrise, no matter what it took.
He just hoped it would be enough.
My Thoughts
From a technical standpoint, what ChatGPT produced is correct and would make an editor sign in relief. But, personally, the tone of the story is more clinical and sterile compared to my rough draft. It also feels like Jonas’ reactions have been scaled back and his inner thoughts restricted as well when compared to my rough draft. That said, I also noticed that ChatGPT removed the section of Jonas smelling blood on Darius’ breath which is how I would have ended chapter one.
Of course, I am not exactly the best person to judge this work since I am a little bit biased.
…okay really biased. Yet, overall, I guess it would be correct of me to say that ChatGPT hasn’t deviated from my rough draft. But what is interesting to note is the word count for my rough draft was 2,774 words.
Anyone want to guess how many words ChatGPT wrote? And what do you think about ChatGPT’s chapter one of ‘Hunted Under the Light of the Moon’ compared to my version? I’m curious to know what other people think about this comparison.
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