We come to the end of ChatGPT’s version of my vampire short story “Hunted Under the Light of the Moon.” While ChatGPT’s Chapter 1 didn’t deviate too far away from my original rough draft of the story, Chapters 2 and 3 strayed quite a bit from the progression of my story from the start of the second chapter. Unfortunately, the deviation continued from there. I’ll talk further about what ChatGPT changed and if it affected the whole pace and core of the story. So here is ChatGPT’s version of Chapters 4 and 5 of “Hunted Under the Light of the Moon.”
Chapter 4: The Showdown
As Darius pounded on the door of the cabin, trying to break it down, Jonas stood his ground. He was tired and battered, but he was ready for this final showdown.
He had come too far to give up now.
Finally, with a mighty roar, Darius broke through the door and burst into the cabin. Jonas stood his ground, facing his hunter head on.
“It’s over, Darius,” he said. “I’m not running anymore.”
Darius sneered at him, his eyes glowing with a strange light. “You think you can defeat me?” he hissed. “I am Darius, the greatest hunter of all time. I have killed hundreds of humans like you, and I will kill you too.”
But Jonas was not afraid. He knew that this was his moment, and he was ready.
With a cry of determination, he launched himself at Darius, fists flying. The two men fought ferociously, trading blows and dodging each other’s attacks.
As the sun rose, casting its golden light over the forest, Jonas finally gained the upper hand. He was able to land a powerful punch that sent Darius stumbling back.
With a fierce cry, Jonas pressed his advantage, raining blows down on Darius until the hunter was on the ground, defeated.
As he looked down at Darius, panting and exhausted, Jonas knew that it was over. He had won. He had survived the hunt.
With a sense of relief and triumph, Jonas turned and walked out of the cabin, ready to face whatever came next. He had won his freedom, and nothing could take that away from him.
Chapter 5: The Aftermath
As Jonas walked out of the cabin, the sun shining down on him, he couldn’t believe what had just happened. He had survived the hunt, against all odds. He had defeated Darius, the greatest hunter of all time.
He was free.
As he made his way through the forest, Jonas couldn’t help but wonder what had brought him to this place. Who was Darius, and why had he hunted him? And what was the strange power that Darius possessed, that had allowed him to outmaneuver Jonas at every turn?
These were questions that Jonas knew he might never fully answer. But as he walked through the forest, the sun shining down on him, he didn’t care. He was alive, and that was all that mattered.
As he emerged from the forest, Jonas saw a small town in the distance. It was a welcome sight, and Jonas knew that it was time to start a new chapter of his life.
He had survived the hunt, and now he was ready to face whatever came next.
With a spring in his step, Jonas set off towards the town, ready to face the future.
I’m going to be blunt, I gagged when I read ChatGPT’s ending to “Hunted Under the Light of the Moon.” It was cliche and bubbly compared to what I wrote. Seriously, it’s something I expect from a young writer who has produced a YA fantasy novel. Which is how far ChatGPt has deviated from my story.
What I am going for is a semi-horror, cat-and-mouse game where the mouse is doing everything it can to beat the cat; a vampire version of “The Most Dangerous Game.” ChatGPT produced something that was okay, but didn’t provide that atmosphere. In fact, the writing is mechanical, by-the-book, and sterile. ChatGPT’s writing doesn’t include the five senses or paint a picture with words. It just tells a story and doesn’t show us.
In addition, ChatGPT doesn’t really include anything I wrote from my rough draft aside from taking parts from the conversations I wrote. It truly reads like a sterilized, watered-down version of my story. Or it could be that my story was flagged as violating OpenAI’s ToS and ChatGPt needed to make the story more “family-friendly” which is why the ending isn’t so violent. Yet, that last scenario isn’t so likely. There is another short story I gave to ChatGPT and it kept going out of its way to change the ending where the protagonist was supposed to kill the antagonist.
I had to really change my prompts in order for ChatGPT to write that ending. To be honest, ChatGPt is left-leaning in its resolutions and opinions when it provides them to the user.
But back to what ChatGPT wrote for “Hunted Under the Light of the Moon.” The struggle between Jonas and Darius, from the start, was more human vs human rather than human vs supernatural human or, more specifically, human vs vampire. Aside from the chatbot briefly mentioning “eyes glowing with a strange light” there are no other indicators of Darius being a vampire. Even the final struggle between the two is vanilla, barely described, and sounds like it was between two regular guys.
So, curious as to this oversight, I decided to tell ChatGPT (though it was more of a reminder) that Darius was a vampire.
If I told you that Darius was a vampire, would that change the story?
“If Darius were revealed to be a vampire, it could potentially change the dynamic of the story. Vampires are often depicted as being immortal and possessing supernatural powers, such as enhanced strength and speed. This could make Darius an even more formidable opponent for Jonas, as he would have to not only outsmart him, but also overcome his supernatural abilities. It could also add a new layer of mystery to the story, as Jonas tries to figure out why Darius is hunting him and what his motivations are. Additionally, the fact that Darius is a vampire could add an element of horror to the story, as Jonas grapples with the reality of facing a centuries-old, undead predator. Overall, the addition of the vampire element could add an interesting twist to the story and potentially change the direction of the plot.”
Curious to see what ChatGPT would do if I added some more details,
“Well, in my story, Darius is a vampire who used to live in the days of Persia when King Darius ruled. But Darius was a mighty Persian hunter of great renown and not King Darius. Eventually, Darius the hunter died young in battle, was buried, and his body was found by some local archeologists. centuries later. Dracula, whos blood can bring back the dead and turn them into vampires at the same time, visited the archeological site and fed Darius’s corpse his blood and turned Darius into a living vampire. Such vampires that were turned by Dracula are called the Firstturned.
Jonas, on the other hand, is an athletic man in his thirties who is a safari hunter. But he hunts using primitive weapons such as the bow and spear instead of modern weapons. He knows how to make primitive traps, is well-versed in several martial arts such as krav maga, jeet kune do, and jiu-jitsu.
Jonas was at a bar, talking about his latest hunt against a panther that almost got him, when Darius overheard the conversation and decided to abduct Jonas and hunt him. Thus leading to this story. “
Then I asked,
Could you write a revised outline with this new information?
“Chapter 1: The Abduction
Jonas is at a bar, discussing his latest hunt with friends when he is overheard by a mysterious stranger, Darius. Darius is a vampire who was turned by Dracula himself and is known as a Firstturned. Impressed by Jonas’s hunting skills and athleticism, Darius decides to kidnap Jonas and use him as his next prey in a hunt. Jonas is injected with a sedative and wakes up in a forest, with Darius revealing that he has a 90-minute head start before the hunt begins.
Chapter 2: The River
As Jonas runs through the forest, trying to come up with a plan to outsmart Darius, he becomes aware of the sound of rustling leaves and snapping twigs behind him. Darius, with his enhanced strength and speed, is already on his tail, and Jonas knows he has to do something fast. That’s when he has an idea. The river is nearby, and if he can reach it, he might be able to use the water to mask his scent and throw Darius off his trail. It’s risky, but it’s his only chance.
Chapter 3: The Cabin
As the night wears on, Jonas continues to run through the forest, trying to stay one step ahead of Darius. He knows that the vampire hunter is always on his tail, waiting for the right moment to strike. But Jonas refuses to give up. He is determined to survive, no matter what. As dawn approaches, Jonas spots a small cabin in the distance. It’s a ramshackle old thing, with peeling paint and a sagging roof, but to Jonas it looks like a sanctuary. He knows he has to make it there before Darius catches up to him.
Chapter 4: The Showdown
As Darius pounds on the door of the cabin, trying to break it down, Jonas stands his ground. He is tired and battered, but he is ready for this final showdown. He has come too far to give up now. Finally, with a mighty roar, Darius breaks through the door and bursts into the cabin. Jonas stands his ground, facing his hunter head on. The two men fight ferociously, trading blows and dodging each other’s attacks. As the sun rises, casting its golden light over the forest, Jonas finally gains the upper hand. He lands a powerful punch that sends Darius stumbling back, and with a fierce cry, he presses his advantage, raining blows down on the vampire until he is on the ground, defeated.
Chapter 5: The Aftermath
As Jonas stands over Darius, panting and exhausted, he knows that it is over. He has won. He has survived the hunt. With a sense of relief and triumph, Jonas turns and walks out of the cabin, ready to face whatever comes next. He has won his freedom, and nothing can take that away from him. As he makes his way through the forest, Jonas can’t help but wonder what will happen next. Will he be able to put this experience behind him and return to his normal life? Or will Darius come after him again, seeking revenge for his defeat? Only time will tell. But for now, Jonas is just grateful to be alive.”
I don’t know why ChatGPT decided to write the new outline in this manner, but the same issues cropped up. The chatbot ignores the 90-minute head start, it sticks with the river and cabin settings, has the showdown at the cabin, and, this time, it is more direct in saying that Jonas doesn’t kill Darius. Then, it refers to Darius as the vampire hunter which is odd. Because Darius is a vampire who was, and is, a hunter as a vampire. An interesting mistake that ChatGPT made when using this to refer to Darius during the second iteration of the story it wrote.
I will say that, at the very least, the fight scene between the two characters is a little more fleshed out compared to the original version ChatGPT wrote.
“As Jonas and Darius faced off in the cabin, each man knew that this was the final showdown. It was do or die, and neither man was willing to back down. Jonas could see the hunger in Darius’s eyes, the desire to claim his prey. But he also saw something else, something he couldn’t quite identify. A hint of sadness, or perhaps regret.
Without a word, the two men launched themselves at each other, their fists flying and their feet pounding the floor. They fought ferociously, trading blows and dodging each other’s attacks. Jonas could feel the dawn light growing stronger, and he knew that this was his chance. He fought with all his might, his muscles straining and his heart racing.
Despite his wiry frame, Darius was a formidable opponent. He was fast and agile, and he seemed to know every trick in the book. But Jonas was no slouch either. He was well-versed in several martial arts, and he knew how to use his size and strength to his advantage. As the two men battled it out, the cabin shook with the force of their blows.
Finally, with a mighty roar, Jonas landed a powerful punch that sent Darius stumbling back. He pressed his advantage, raining blows down on the vampire hunter until he was on the ground, defeated. As the sun rose, casting its golden light over the forest, Jonas stood over Darius, panting and exhausted. He had won. He had survived the hunt.
As he looked down at Darius, he felt a sudden surge of pity for the man. Despite everything, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Darius was a victim of his own circumstances, just like Jonas. He had been turned into a vampire against his will, and now he was doomed to hunt forever, never knowing peace or rest.
With a heavy heart, Jonas turned and walked out of the cabin, ready to face whatever came next. He had won his freedom, and nothing could take that away from him. As he made his way through the forest, Jonas couldn’t help but wonder what would happen next. Would he be able to put this experience behind him and return to his normal life? Or would Darius come after him again, seeking revenge for his defeat? Only time would tell. But for now, Jonas was just grateful to be alive.”
Once again, a really crappy ending to the story that is nothing like what I wrote. However, after revising my outline for the story, I am thinking of integrating the cabin idea for my story as a way to give Jonas the tools he needs to try and have some kind of chance to fight Darius. In the rough draft, I give him some tools from the start, but him finding an abandoned cabin makes it more interesting and realistic to acquire similar items.
I’m tempted to provide ChatGPT with all the details, character profiles, and story outline for my story just to see if it comes up with something different. Though, given the programming behind it, it would most likely still tone down the violence and change the resolution of the conflict to where Jonas doesn’t kill Darius.
But what do you think about ChatGPT’s version compared to my rough draft? Sound off in the comments section or on social media!
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